he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize