you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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