it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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