I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i just had sex bonerless
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize