He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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