yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
