you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
