youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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