hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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