i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
