I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
she pinky promised me she was 18
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I stole a fireplace last night.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
