btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Randomize
