OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
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