You can't special order awesome
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
