Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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