Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I think your dad took our porno
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
