evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
