Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
