Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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