Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
