I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
