So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
