I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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