Dual....:-)
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
