Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
