We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize