Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Randomize
