just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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