i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize
