I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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