You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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