no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
