in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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