She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
