I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
