Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
sex in a hospital.. check
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize