If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Randomize
