I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
