Small penises have feelings too.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
