You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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