there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
