Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
