My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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