brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
