Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
