Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize