Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Bring me that man meat
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
