i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Randomize
