Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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