So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
