yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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