margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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