i wish there were pregnant emoticons
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
