Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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