So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
