There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
