i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
how drunk are you?
Several
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
