When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Randomize
