He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
