Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
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