singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize